I feel as though Jonathan found his way though a loop hole. I've known Jonathan for a while. I actually met Jonathan and his boyfriend one night for drinks at a local bar. Both seemed like very nice guys. Then they broke up. I didn't really have any iterest in seeing Jonathan again. But, Jonathan asked me out after I started the grand plan. I felt as though the rules compelled me to agree.
I asked what he wanted to do and just specified that I wanted something low key. Jonathan suggested I come to his place and we could watch a movie or play X-Box. I know the rules of the grand experiment state that I don't meet at someone's home, but I felt ok breaking the rule seeing as how I had met him before.
Jonathan told me not to eat before hand because he had a pizza for us to eat. I get to Jonathan's condo and he invites me in. I'm hungry and say lets eat. Now, maybe I was confused, but I was expecting a hot, freshly delivered pizza... not pizza left overs from a party he had three days ago. Strike one.
After eating the disgusting pizza, I suggested we play X-Box. I'm annoyed about the pizza situation so I just want to get this over with. He tells me to put in any game I want. I find a game, put it in and invite Jonathan to play. He says no. He just wants to watch me play. Creepy. What the hell is this about? Playing a video game is fun when I am by myself, but having some one watch me play kind of creeped me out. Strike two.
We decide to watch a movie and I select a film I've never seen called "30 days of night". Its a pretty cool vampire flick. I am sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when all of a sudden Jonathan pulls me down to lay next to him on the couch. Spooning is great and all, but not when I feel like I am almost going to fall off the couch. Also, not so great when I'm annoyed about the pizza situation and the watching me play weirdness.
I know I am sounding really bitchy, and maybe I am. But here is the thing that really killed it. And maybe the other two things didn't bug me as much until this next thing started occuring. And this thing is inexcusable.
He burped... a lot. Now remember, we are laying, with me as the little spoon, on his couch. His big head is right behind mine. So, chick-a-dees, where do you suppose that vile burp gas went. You guessed it, right in to my face. It was awful. C'mon, who open mouth burps on a date these days? But, more importantly, who does it when you have some one else in close proximity to that vileness that is coming out of your mouth. I had nowhere to go. I'm clinging for dear life to the edge of the couch and every time he would open that portal to hell, i knew another one of those nasty burp bombs was coming my way. STRIKE 3.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
#4 Aaron
I think Aaron is proof that two people can go get coffee, have a great time, but know that we will never see each other again.
Aaron was a nice man whom I met at a local coffee shop. We both had plans later that night so it wasn't to be a long coffee date. Mostly, we were just going to sit, chat, hang out and then go our way. And, this is essentially what happened. Aaron seemed like a nice fellow, but I honestly had no interest in getting to know him further. It was a date where I knew there was just nothing there on either side. Aaron was interesting and funny. I just wasn't feeling it.
Not much to report on this one.
Aaron was a nice man whom I met at a local coffee shop. We both had plans later that night so it wasn't to be a long coffee date. Mostly, we were just going to sit, chat, hang out and then go our way. And, this is essentially what happened. Aaron seemed like a nice fellow, but I honestly had no interest in getting to know him further. It was a date where I knew there was just nothing there on either side. Aaron was interesting and funny. I just wasn't feeling it.
Not much to report on this one.
Friday, October 14, 2011
#3 Matty
Matty is really cute. Matty is really fun. I enjoyed Matty's company.
Matty and I have been texting for a bit and earlier this week we decided to go out on Thursday. In a very uninspired move, Matty said we should go to a movie. Now, I don't judge (who am I kidding, yes I do) but I decided to go and as I started searching for movies I saw that Ghostbusters was playing at Jordan Commons. Yes, folks, the original Ghostbusters. How can you pass on oppurtunity like this up. I haven't seen Ghostbusters, in its entirety, since I saw it in a movie theater 20 years ago. I was stoked. So, I asked Matty if he would like to go and he agreed.
I got to the theater a bit early and I saw the greatest thing ever. People actually dressed up in ghostbuster gear and someone has actually created a ghostbuster mobile complete with license plate that said Ecto Ut. The real live ghostbusters (jumpsuits, backpacks and ghost busting gear) were all about. I had a brief moment of horror when I realized
a.) I was underdressed
b.) they might be acting this shit out ala Rocky Horror Picture Show
Fortunately enough, they didn't act it out, but I was treated to witnessing several ghostbusters try to out nerd each other by comparing ghostbuster and ghostbusting movie trivia.
Anywho, Matty arrived and I thought he was damn cute. He was easy to talk to and was quite funny. We sat in the movie theater and judged the people that came in. All in all, we had about 30 minutes to chat before the movie started. Talking with Matty was great because we didn't have the typical first date chat. We just chatted like we were friends.
I can actually say that this was the first instance where I really noticed that movies can be a bad first date. We did just sit in the movie theater and didn't talk and didn't get to know one another. I would have appreciated more time to just sit and shoot the breeze. I know now that going to a movie, and only going to the movie, on a first date can be a bad idea. But, I'm hopeful that I will get a second date with Matty and we can spend more time talking. But, who knows.
All in all, I had a good time. Not much to report as Matty seemed fairly normal and not totally crazy like my beautiful friend.
Matty and I have been texting for a bit and earlier this week we decided to go out on Thursday. In a very uninspired move, Matty said we should go to a movie. Now, I don't judge (who am I kidding, yes I do) but I decided to go and as I started searching for movies I saw that Ghostbusters was playing at Jordan Commons. Yes, folks, the original Ghostbusters. How can you pass on oppurtunity like this up. I haven't seen Ghostbusters, in its entirety, since I saw it in a movie theater 20 years ago. I was stoked. So, I asked Matty if he would like to go and he agreed.
I got to the theater a bit early and I saw the greatest thing ever. People actually dressed up in ghostbuster gear and someone has actually created a ghostbuster mobile complete with license plate that said Ecto Ut. The real live ghostbusters (jumpsuits, backpacks and ghost busting gear) were all about. I had a brief moment of horror when I realized
a.) I was underdressed
b.) they might be acting this shit out ala Rocky Horror Picture Show
Fortunately enough, they didn't act it out, but I was treated to witnessing several ghostbusters try to out nerd each other by comparing ghostbuster and ghostbusting movie trivia.
Anywho, Matty arrived and I thought he was damn cute. He was easy to talk to and was quite funny. We sat in the movie theater and judged the people that came in. All in all, we had about 30 minutes to chat before the movie started. Talking with Matty was great because we didn't have the typical first date chat. We just chatted like we were friends.
I can actually say that this was the first instance where I really noticed that movies can be a bad first date. We did just sit in the movie theater and didn't talk and didn't get to know one another. I would have appreciated more time to just sit and shoot the breeze. I know now that going to a movie, and only going to the movie, on a first date can be a bad idea. But, I'm hopeful that I will get a second date with Matty and we can spend more time talking. But, who knows.
All in all, I had a good time. Not much to report as Matty seemed fairly normal and not totally crazy like my beautiful friend.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
#2 Ian
I actually know this one's name. Kind of refreshing.
Ian and I had been texting for about a month. No real rush to meet, but always wanting to meet. We finally decided to meet up on Tuesday night for pizza and cocktails. In text messages I always found Ian quirky, funny and somewhat charming. I was initially nervous to meet Ian because he seemed really pushy to meet me on Monday night. But, I agreed. Also, I have a problem of not getting second dates. I guess its not a problem, but its something I just don't understand. I go out with someone, we have a great time and then they disappear of the face of the earth. Weird. It is one thing I am going to discover in this 100 dates.
So, I must admit, I broke one of the rules already. I really did not want to go out for another awkward dinner date where I pretend (yes, I am to the point of pretending) to care about what people do for fun or pretending that my job is interesting. I didn't want another one of those, so I consented to meet at Ian's house for said pizza, movie and cocktails.
Now, before you get all judgemental on me, I know what "watch a movie at my place" actually means in the gay culture. For those of you that don't, it means watch the first five minutes of a movie and then uncomfortably grind on each other for a while leading to some form of unsatisfying sex. I was not going to do this with Ian. I made up my mind before hand.
I got to Ian's in Magna. Honestly, I was a bit worried. I was in Magna. I wasn't sure if I was coming out of that home in my clothes, or in body bags. I texted my friend Chelsey and told her the address, just in case I didn't show up for work the next day.
Ian turned out to be really cute and really funny. He "got" my sense of humor. He had a similar sense of humor. I enjoyed that... alot. We watched The Amityville Horror. The Ryan Reynolds one. Stupid movie, but Ryan looked hot. Ian and I were snarky and judgemental the whole movie and it was fun. We got a bit drunk and laughed a lot. We did not grind and we did not have sex. I left at 9 proud of myself. Seems like a successful date. I don't know if I will see him again. With my history, I probably wont. But, at least I had a fun night.
Ian and I had been texting for about a month. No real rush to meet, but always wanting to meet. We finally decided to meet up on Tuesday night for pizza and cocktails. In text messages I always found Ian quirky, funny and somewhat charming. I was initially nervous to meet Ian because he seemed really pushy to meet me on Monday night. But, I agreed. Also, I have a problem of not getting second dates. I guess its not a problem, but its something I just don't understand. I go out with someone, we have a great time and then they disappear of the face of the earth. Weird. It is one thing I am going to discover in this 100 dates.
So, I must admit, I broke one of the rules already. I really did not want to go out for another awkward dinner date where I pretend (yes, I am to the point of pretending) to care about what people do for fun or pretending that my job is interesting. I didn't want another one of those, so I consented to meet at Ian's house for said pizza, movie and cocktails.
Now, before you get all judgemental on me, I know what "watch a movie at my place" actually means in the gay culture. For those of you that don't, it means watch the first five minutes of a movie and then uncomfortably grind on each other for a while leading to some form of unsatisfying sex. I was not going to do this with Ian. I made up my mind before hand.
I got to Ian's in Magna. Honestly, I was a bit worried. I was in Magna. I wasn't sure if I was coming out of that home in my clothes, or in body bags. I texted my friend Chelsey and told her the address, just in case I didn't show up for work the next day.
Ian turned out to be really cute and really funny. He "got" my sense of humor. He had a similar sense of humor. I enjoyed that... alot. We watched The Amityville Horror. The Ryan Reynolds one. Stupid movie, but Ryan looked hot. Ian and I were snarky and judgemental the whole movie and it was fun. We got a bit drunk and laughed a lot. We did not grind and we did not have sex. I left at 9 proud of myself. Seems like a successful date. I don't know if I will see him again. With my history, I probably wont. But, at least I had a fun night.
#1 My Beautiful Friend
This gentleman will now and forevermore be referred to as 'My Beautiful friend'. I am calling him my beautiful friend not for any physical reason. I am calling him this for two reasons:
1.) This is what he calls me. Even though he knows my name and I have reiterated that my name is Josh and he doesn't need to keep calling me is beautiful friend. He continues to call me this.
2.) I don't know his name. I have no idea.
My beautiful friend started off normal. We met online, we chatted, we exchanged numbers. We texted every once in a while and we made up in the air plans to eventually meet each other. I finally consented to meet him, knowing that the experiment was starting. This is where things started going awry. After deciding to meet for dessert he began to tell me how nervous he was to meet me and that he always gets nervous when meeting beautiful people he is very interested in. I tried to head this situation off at the pass by saying things like "Don't be nervous. I'm just a normal guy. No more, no less." and "It might be a good idea to take all thoughts of romance out of meeting. We can just meet as friends and enjoy each others company. That way, if things don't work out we are not let down." This didn't work. This failed miserably. His response "U are so intelegent and smart and wise beyond ur yers, my beautiful friend. U are so deep. I'm even more nervous now. :):):):):):):):)" Direct quote.
So, Im already a little turned off, but I can't break my own rules on the first try, so I meet him for dessert at the cheesecake factory.
He brought me a rose. A single rose. What is this? 1992? I understand he was trying to be sweet and charming. I was trying not to throw up in my mouth. He said he always brings his first dates a rose as his grandmother raises him to be a gentleman. It seems like his grandmother raised him to be a little bit creepy.
Aside from the rose, he was actually an interesting guy to talk to. He collects cars, loves Las Vegas, has a condo in Murray and I honestly don't remember the rest of what we talked about. He seemed to agree with me when I stated that I wasn't looking to jump into anything. I'm not looking to identify my eternal companion on the first date. I mean, I don't go to the temple, so its kind of hard for me to have visions of my eternal companion in the celestial room. I'm kinda flying blind here. But, I'm also not going to rule some one out on the first date either. I'm just looking to make friends and let things mature over time. He agreed with all of that and said he was doing the same. I think he lied.
We talked for an hour or so and then I told him I had to go. He was nice and walked me to my car. This was a good thing. Guys rarely walk me to my car. I like that.
As is custom in the gay community, I gave him a hug to say thanks. He bear hugged me back, and did that arch your back thing where he lifted me up. What the hell? This was not ok. We said Good bye.
All in all, he was on Ok guy. There have been numerous text messages, all with that saccharine sweet "My beautiful man. I have a smile on my face because of you" tone.
He did seem like a good guy who just wants to find some one to love him back. I know there are people out there that would eat his approach up with a spoon. I'm just not that girl.
1.) This is what he calls me. Even though he knows my name and I have reiterated that my name is Josh and he doesn't need to keep calling me is beautiful friend. He continues to call me this.
2.) I don't know his name. I have no idea.
My beautiful friend started off normal. We met online, we chatted, we exchanged numbers. We texted every once in a while and we made up in the air plans to eventually meet each other. I finally consented to meet him, knowing that the experiment was starting. This is where things started going awry. After deciding to meet for dessert he began to tell me how nervous he was to meet me and that he always gets nervous when meeting beautiful people he is very interested in. I tried to head this situation off at the pass by saying things like "Don't be nervous. I'm just a normal guy. No more, no less." and "It might be a good idea to take all thoughts of romance out of meeting. We can just meet as friends and enjoy each others company. That way, if things don't work out we are not let down." This didn't work. This failed miserably. His response "U are so intelegent and smart and wise beyond ur yers, my beautiful friend. U are so deep. I'm even more nervous now. :):):):):):):):)" Direct quote.
So, Im already a little turned off, but I can't break my own rules on the first try, so I meet him for dessert at the cheesecake factory.
He brought me a rose. A single rose. What is this? 1992? I understand he was trying to be sweet and charming. I was trying not to throw up in my mouth. He said he always brings his first dates a rose as his grandmother raises him to be a gentleman. It seems like his grandmother raised him to be a little bit creepy.
Aside from the rose, he was actually an interesting guy to talk to. He collects cars, loves Las Vegas, has a condo in Murray and I honestly don't remember the rest of what we talked about. He seemed to agree with me when I stated that I wasn't looking to jump into anything. I'm not looking to identify my eternal companion on the first date. I mean, I don't go to the temple, so its kind of hard for me to have visions of my eternal companion in the celestial room. I'm kinda flying blind here. But, I'm also not going to rule some one out on the first date either. I'm just looking to make friends and let things mature over time. He agreed with all of that and said he was doing the same. I think he lied.
We talked for an hour or so and then I told him I had to go. He was nice and walked me to my car. This was a good thing. Guys rarely walk me to my car. I like that.
As is custom in the gay community, I gave him a hug to say thanks. He bear hugged me back, and did that arch your back thing where he lifted me up. What the hell? This was not ok. We said Good bye.
All in all, he was on Ok guy. There have been numerous text messages, all with that saccharine sweet "My beautiful man. I have a smile on my face because of you" tone.
He did seem like a good guy who just wants to find some one to love him back. I know there are people out there that would eat his approach up with a spoon. I'm just not that girl.
The experiment and the rules.
I am going to go on 100 dates. I guess I am doing this not so much to meet someone, but just learn more about myself. Ha. I will blog about each of the dates... all 100 of them. I am in no rush to meet my enternal companion. I am in a rush to meet new people and have my life enriched by knowing them.
The rules are this:
1.) I will, using various online applications (Grindr, Match.com and OkCupid), talk to anyone that talks to me or responds to me. ANYONE!! I will also go out with anyone that asks, or agrees to go out.
2.) The dates will be dutch, unless agreed upon before hand.
3.) The dates will always be a public place.
I'm going to blog about each of these experiences. Hold on tight, kids. Its going to be a bumpy ride.
The rules are this:
1.) I will, using various online applications (Grindr, Match.com and OkCupid), talk to anyone that talks to me or responds to me. ANYONE!! I will also go out with anyone that asks, or agrees to go out.
2.) The dates will be dutch, unless agreed upon before hand.
3.) The dates will always be a public place.
I'm going to blog about each of these experiences. Hold on tight, kids. Its going to be a bumpy ride.
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