Josh's Pink Library

My list of simple requests

1.) Guy at the gym... wear underwear. I'm not gonna judge if you wanna spend some time checking out the ladies who are working out. I, myself, have been known to check out the guys who are working out. But, please make the choice to wear some kind of underwear... a brief, boxer... a boxer brief even. Underwear keeps everything all nice and snug in one place and goes a LONG way to hiding that reaction you are having to checking out the ladies. So... long story short... go get yourself some Hanes.

2.) Step instructor... lay off the heavy weights. I'm not kidding. If you ask that I pick up the heavy weights one more time, I will hit you with them. I'm not kidding... I'll hit ya.

3.) Express... stop sending me emails. Especially emails that say something to the effect of 'Spend $50.00 to reach the next gift level." I view this as a challenge... like you are daring me to spend that much. And we all know how much I feed the monkey... the monkey starts a'screamin' for food and I just gotta. I can't help myself.

4.) Prospective new boss... hire me right now. This is just an open request to anybody who would be interested in hiring me... and paying me lots of money.

5.) Facebook farmers... stop sending me things. I have no more room. I'm done full up on trees and sheep and pigs and horses and ducks and artichokes. I can't handle any more on my farm... until I can get a bigger farm... but I don't know how to do that... so I'm stuck with the small farm. Oh, and stop asking me to send you things when you've sent me something. In that case its not a gift anymore... its a trade...and I don't believe in trades.