My list of things I am thankful for

1.) Predictable Utah drivers. I'm serious, ya'll. If there is even the slightest bit of water on the road, safe, conservative and SLOW driving become the name of the game. But, you sprinkle a little snow, slush or ice out on them thar roads and "$#%@^ It. I can drive through that at mock 20" becomes the name of the game. For some reason, Utah drives are paralyzed with fear when it comes to hydroplaning, but, we could care less about sliding on ice and snow. Now, I don't claim to know the logistics of hydroplaning, but I know that I have never done it. Contrast that with EVERY snow storm in which I have slid, leads me to believe that sliding in snow is a lot more or a real posibility.

2.) Friends who don't pry, even though they really, really REALLY want to. Maybe one day we'll talk about what happened... more then likely, we wont.

3.) Shopping with Marc and Rob.


4.) Shopping with Marc and Rob and being the skinny one, especially when I know that Marc and Rob want to If you seek Amy.

5.) Marc and Rob! Love love LOVE both of ya'll. Thanks!!!

My list of things that annoy me.

1.) Atomic Wedgies and other atomic things!

2.) Finding a milk chug in my fridge at work and being all excited (I know, excited about finding milk, I get the lameness), but then seeing that the date on said milk was 12/19/2008. EWWWWWW.

3.) Asking for one shot of vanilla in my coffee, but seeing the coffee man clearly put four shots in. Nope, thats not what I asked for. Ugggg... now I'm going to have to count those calories.

4.) Sore back, arms, and chest. I guess this shouldn't annoy me, as the soreness is proof I am doing something right... but uggggg... moving is a pain...or rather, is painful.

5.) The conclusion of, what was, a really great comic book. Well, I guess there is one more comic to go and we shall see how they wrap the whole thing up... but so far... the big reveal... was a big let down!!!

On the plus side, the cover of this comic sho' done be pretty, dontcha think?

My list of telephone rules.

These are the rules that I play by when it comes to the phone, ya'll. I don't care if you play by them, but this is what to expect from me. Oh... and yes, I do care if you play by them... in fact, when dealing with me on the phone start playing by these rules.

1.) If I have called you and you have not answered and I do NOT leave a message, I am not expecting, nor do I want you to call me back. Seriously, if I wanted to talk to you, I would have told you to CALL ME. If I don't say CALL ME, I was just calling to chat, its not important and DONT CALL ME BACK. Seriously, don't you have anything better to do then look at your caller ID and return calls. STOP IT.

2.) If I have called you and you have not answered and I have left a message, but in the message I did NOT say "Call Me", then I have said what I've needed to say and I do not expect a call back. If you call back, its not going to piss me off, like breaking rule #1 will, but just know I've said all I need to say, in the message.

3.) If I have called you and you have not answered and I have left a message saying "Call Me", I will also have left some kind of call to action in the message. I expect said call to action to be completed before you call me back. Included in this, is that I expect you to listen to my message before you call me back. Calling me back and saying "I saw that you called but I haven't listened to your message." is just as bad as breaking rule #1. STOP IT.

4.) If you have called me and I have not answered and you do NOT leave a message asking for me to call you back, I will NOT call you back. Do not expect me to look at my caller ID and return calls. I DONT... so don't expect it.

5.) If you have called me and I have not answered and you leave a message that only says "Call Me" without some form of call to action, I will assume you just want to chat. If I assume you just want to chat, I will call you back when I feel like it. If you need/expect me to call you back sooner then when I want to, then the burden of proof is on you to explain to me why I need to call you back.

My list of favorite things for today

1.) Me.... I love me. Yes, I top the list today as one of my favorite things... but I've also realized that my incredible vanity is a rather expensive habit.

2.) The Fame by Lady GaGa. Hate her name... but its a pretty good little album. I really enjoyed working out to it.

3.) Coffee... especially on days like today.

4.) Velma. You know, that nerdy know it all be-otch from Scoooby-Do. Those of you who are in the know, know why Velma made the list today.

5.) Jay Turner for teaching me how to solve a Rubics Cube. I was listening to NPR this weekend and they did a story on how a dutch man spent 26 years working on and finally solving a Rubics cube. Then, they had a "Rubics Cuber" talk about how most people can learn a Rubics cube in about a week if they have a good teacher. Well, that teacher was you, Jay. You should feel so proud.

My list of favorite things for today

1.) Festival of Crab at Market Street Broiler. I love me some crab... and I really love me some Festival of Crab at Market Street.

2.) My 'Hotness' level today, which in all honesty, is 'Off the chain". I say this with total humility, and honesty... the truth hurts, bitches. For reals, ya'll, I done look good today. p.s. I'll let you know if/when my hotness level changes.

3.) The stories Big Boy and City of Angels by David Sedaris in his book Me talk pretty one day. Kiddles... if you aint reading David Sedaris you should start. He is Hi-lar-rious! And Delia, you are right, I think Mr. Sedaris and I, are very similiar in word and deed. Let me just give you an example of David Sedaris' writing and you just tell me it doesn't sound like something I would say:

"That's one of Alicia's most well-worn adjectives, sweet, and she uses it to describe just about everyone. Were you to kick her in the stomach, the most you could expect would be a demotion to "semisweet." I've never known anyone so willing to withhold judgement and overlook what often strike me as major personality defects. Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character."
David Sedaris Me talk pretty one day.

See... I told you!

4.) Jason Cameron. WHOA! He has been added to the Daniel Craig and David Beckham list.




5.) The fact that those of you who responded, which was most of my readers, said loud and clear to keep emailing the list. Thanks! Warm fuzzies for me!!!

My list of ponderings for today, January 14, 2009

1.) Does giving somebody the nickname 'Hotness' imply that I think they are hot?

2.) When will my favorite T.V. show 'Weeds' start up again? Seriously, ya'll, I'm missing me some Nancy Botwin.

3.) Does anybody ever read my blog? Most of the emailed list readers probably don't, as all I post there is the list for the day here on the blog. But I wonder if anybody else reads the blog.

4.) If I have an 'A' list of list readers, and a 'B' list of list readers, are the people who read the blog (if any) on a different list?

5.) Should I stop sending the list out, and just post it on the blog and for those of you that are interested you can read it here?

Things that are starting my day off right.

1.) Seeing a speciman of lovely changing in front of me at the gym this morning. He was big, he was round, he was gorgeous, he wasn't me (weird, talking about how great somebody else is on my blog??), he was lovely. Seriously, ya'll... I can't describe how pretty he was. He had the nice rounded, almost puffy muscle with out being all hard packed and chisled. Nice flat tummy, nice pits... the whole package.

2.) Being able to sleep in until 6:00. I've forgotten the simple joys that come with sleeping in. How fantastic is it to sleep in a bit.

3.) My BFF at work, Mike, who was super nice to listen to me talk about item #1 on the list... even though he might have been uncomfortable. But it was still cool of him. Thanks Mike!!! I had to tell somebody.

4.) 'Merican Idol starting tonight. Now, hear me out folks. I don't necessarily enjoy the show in and of itself... but I watch it with my sister, Robyn. And we have fun. Granted, it is a Gi-norm-o pain in my ass to go to Rich and Sharon's every Tuesday and Wednesday... but haning out with Robyn makes it worth it.
5.) Item number one. I'm not kidding, ya'll... it was lovely!!!