Memo:

Dear friends, family, colleagues, frenemies, assholes, and slow walkers-

Somewhere in the Bible (past the part forbidding the mixing of different textiles) the Baby Jebus/John Lennon decrees "There is a season turn, turn, turn..."  and then proceeds to list several things that come in and out of season.  Here is the list (roughly paraphrased):

1.  A time to be born, a time to die
2.  A time to sow, a time to reap
3.  A time to laugh, a time to weep
4.  A time to botox, a time to age gracefully
5.  A time to stroll leisurely across the street, a time to hurry the fuck up
6.  A time for big hair, a time for small hair
7.  A time to chat, a time to leave me the HELL alone.

For today's scripture study, I would like to focus on item #7 because several of you seem to be struggling with it. If I answer your call, your IM, your text message, your telegraph, or your carrier pigeon (or if I initiate any of said communiques) it means it is time to chat.  ON THE OTHER HAND, if I ignore you, I am not playing hard to get and encouraging you to try harder.  I need you to STFU and, as our Lord put it, leave me the HELL alone!!!

Don't take it personally.  It's me, not you.  I am probably manstrating and really it's for your own good.  But just to make it clear, leave me a message and MOVE ON.  It's the fucking Information Age and I will get back to you when I am in a better emotional place.  Your repeated efforts to unsuccessfully contact me but successfully irritate me will not speed that process.

Thanks very much-
Josh

P.S.  People who walk slowly through the crosswalk while I am making a left turn, please see #5.  Old people who drive in my blind spot, please see #1 having clearly failed #4.

My list of things the suprised me today


1.) My job totally changing. I really don't know what is going on with it right now. I really have no idea. Its frustrating.

2.) A found camera cord and all that came with it.


3.) Stella. I guess I wasn't so surprised. D'Nell and I have had good luck this whole year of newness. Stella didn't let down.

My list of things I'm going to miss




1.) Her nonsense and foolishness.



2.) Stealing cokes.



3.) All the things we did... just for funsies.



4.) A standing lunch date.



5.) A song to greet me each morning.

My list of good things that happened this weekend.

1.) Getting completely smashed on Friday night. A bottle of Pinot Grigio later and this girl was tanked. I'm pretty sure a series of bad things happened in my drunken state. I may hang my head in shame and embarrassment. And why do I hang my head... why did bad things happen? Because I had no gummi bears around to protect me.

2.) My lunch with Marc. Marc-y always makes me feel better. Always! He done be my bestie ya'll.

3.) Making, finally, a decision to take action. And, I'm surprisingly not freaked out about it. 

4.) Hanging out, for a bit, with my family. The swim party was fun. I looked good. I left.

5.) Finally raising the Squidgy.

http://www.sfgate.com/chronicle/acrobat/2010/08/04/Prop-8-Ruling-FINAL.pdf?tsp=1

My list of locker room no-nos.

1.) Putting your gym bag in front of my locker. Actually, putting your gym back in front of any locker that isn't yours. There is a rather large dressing room outside of the showers. I'm all good if you don't want to rent a locker. Go for it. But STOP depositing your shit in front of my locker. Now, I have to move it. And believe me, I'm getting less and less nice when I have to move your stuff. People use the lockers don't block them with your shit.

2.) Putting your gym bag, or other paraphernalia, on the stool(s). Those stools are provided for folks to sit on when they are done with their work out and are trying to undress. It is not a table. STOP using it as such. Seriously. You can see me balancing on one foot, trying to take my shoes off with out falling over and you keep your bag there. You inconsiderate A-HOLE. 

3.) Sing or whistling. Any kind of musical activity does not belong in the locker room. For reals, I don't want to hear it. And, its kind of creepy. And by 'kind of', I mean totally. Stop doing it.

4.) Walking from the shower to your locker without toweling off. WTF? Would you do this at your house? Roam around, dripping wet, completely nude? I think you probably wouldn't. So, just because somebody else must come in and mop up after your dumb ass, it is ok to do this? REALLY? Or, are you just that stupid?

5.) Trying to engage me in conversation. We all know, I do not engage in conversations in the mens room. I find it skeevy. Guess what, there are toilets just down the way in this locker room so this now counts as a mens room. I don't want to talk. Also, I am naked (or close to it) and you are naked (or close to it) and I have no... NO desire to speak. NONE. Don't try to talk to me.

My list of things I care about.




1.) My playlist. I have a playlist, chick-a-dees. A song gets added to it everyday. They are good songs. They make my day better. I look forward tomorrow's song... and the next day's.



2.)



This ship. This ship is falling apart and I'm having a hard time with that. Its interesting, though, how the ship is a metaphor for the show and what is happening on it. It was a good series, ya'll. I'm excited for the wrap-up... but SAD. The bright side is, no more BSG posts, I guess.



3.) The fact that my dog does not have an ear infection. Good news, ya'll... but he did have a whole mess of earwax down there. Who knew, dogs get ear wax? Ick.



4.) Nationwide Wi-Fi, apparently.



5.) Telling Michael how happy I am that he is back.