Thursday, April 23, 2009

My list of things of which you should be made aware

1.) For those of you that choose to run outside, you should be aware that when you run in place at a crosswalk while waiting for the light to change, you look like a @#%#^$ idiot. Seriously, you look like an ass. How about, you take a break cause sitting there, bouncing around in your half-assed way just makes you look dumb.

2.) If you are overweight and are trying to sell me on going to your gym, you should be aware that telling me you love golds gym and that you have been going to it for 20 years, is not going to make me sign up. In fact, its gonna make me think, WTF???? 20 years and you still look like that? Good job, buddy. Nice wasting of your time and money.

3.) You should be aware that massages from a big handed, big forearmed and big bicep body builder are seriously the best thing. You should be further aware that the massage is even better when you convince the masseuse to massage you with his shirt off. Even though your eyes are clothes, the shirt off was nice.

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