# 5 Jonathan

I feel as though Jonathan found his way though a loop hole.  I've known Jonathan for a while. I actually met Jonathan and his boyfriend one night for drinks at a local bar. Both seemed like very nice guys. Then they broke up. I didn't really have any iterest in seeing Jonathan again.  But, Jonathan asked me out after I started the grand plan.  I felt as though the rules compelled me to agree.

I asked what he wanted to do and just specified that I wanted something low key.  Jonathan suggested I come to his place and we could watch a movie or play X-Box. I know the rules of the grand experiment state that I don't meet at someone's home, but I felt ok breaking the rule seeing as how I had met him before.

Jonathan told me not to eat before hand because he had a pizza for us to eat.  I get to Jonathan's condo and he invites me in. I'm hungry and say lets eat.  Now, maybe I was confused, but I was expecting a hot, freshly delivered pizza... not pizza left overs from a party he had three days ago.  Strike one.

After eating the disgusting pizza, I suggested we play X-Box.  I'm annoyed about the pizza situation so I just want to get this over with.  He tells me to put in any game I want.  I find a game, put it in and invite Jonathan to play. He says no.  He just wants to watch me play. Creepy. What the hell is this about? Playing a video game is fun when I am by myself, but having some one watch me play kind of creeped me out.  Strike two.

We decide to watch a movie and I select a film I've never seen called "30 days of night". Its a pretty cool vampire flick. I am sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when all of a sudden Jonathan pulls me down to lay next to him on the couch. Spooning is great and all, but not when I feel like I am almost going to fall off the couch. Also, not so great when I'm annoyed about the pizza situation and the watching me play weirdness.

I know I am sounding really bitchy, and maybe I am. But here is the thing that really killed it. And maybe the other two things didn't bug me as much until this next thing started occuring. And this thing is inexcusable.

He burped... a lot.  Now remember, we are laying, with me as the little spoon, on his couch. His big head is right behind mine. So, chick-a-dees, where do you suppose that vile burp gas went.  You guessed it, right in to my face.  It was awful. C'mon, who open mouth burps on a date these days? But, more importantly, who does it when you have some one else in close proximity to that vileness that is coming out of your mouth. I had nowhere to go. I'm clinging for dear life to the edge of the couch and every time he would open that  portal to hell, i knew another one of those nasty burp bombs was coming my way. STRIKE 3.