1.) Having a list idea fall squarely into my lap. Kids, you may not realize it, but sometimes, I have writers block and have a hard time thinking up a list for the day... often like getting blood from a stone. And then, on rare occasions, the heavens part and Cher looks down from her throne on high and drops a list right in my lap. Soooo... without further ado... I give you my experience at the gas station this morning.
2.) I'm pumping my gas and I see a hand written sign on the the door of the gas station and the sign said:
"Sorry. All fountions are out of order."
What the hell is thish wordsh? I have no idea what a "fountions" is. Then, I spy with my little eye, a sign on the second entrance to the gas station and that sign says "All soda fountions are out of order". Hmmm, says I. Ok. Then, I go into the gas station to buy a protein and then I see a fairly large, printed sign which says "All fountain drinks .59 cents". and there, large as life, taped to that sign is a hand written sign which says (and I'm not making this up kids) "Fountions are out of order".
Man, I love idiots.
3.) So, I pick out my Muscle Milk and I go to pay for it and the obviously homo-sesual attendant named Alan says "Does this help suppress your appetite, Josh?" What the....? Do I look anorexic? Do I look like I have to suppress my appetite? I told him "No, this is a post-workout recovery drink." He kind of laughs, mumbles something and then says:
4.) "Did you leave your wife at the spa? I bet you just dropped her off, didn't you?" WTF????? What the hell is this hate speech? I haven't been accused of being straight in a long time. I am buying a muscle milk wearing an Armani Exchange tank top... you do the math, Alan! Man, I love idiots.
5.) Only 30 more days to go, kids!
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