Josh's Pink Library

My list of things that I take umbridge with

1.) People who ask me about my night/weekend/plans/etc, just so I will ask them about their night/weekend/plans.

2.) People who, even when I've not asked, will tell me about their night/weekend/plans. For some reason, these people obviously operate under the mistaken idea that I give a shit.

3.) People who, while regaling me with the super exciting tales of their night/weekend/plans, drop in random tidbits with out explanation in the hopes of getting me to ask about said random tidbit.

For example, consider the following dramatic scene:

Sad depressing one: "G'morning Josh. How was your night?"

Josh: (Full body shudder. Ponders what is the very least he can say that will not result in a conversation.) "It was great."

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ...

Josh acts relieved. Maybe no conversation will follow.

Sad depressing one: "My night was great. I had a really tasty dinner."

Josh: ignores comment in its entirety.

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ... ... ... Yeah, I really wanted some good food. I I bar-b-qued up some buffalo burgers. (Sad depressing one adds extra emphasis on the 's' in burgers... obviously to indicate he made more then one.)

Josh: Sips from his coffee cup and prays to Cher that the conversation stops here.

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ... "Yep, they were good burgers. My friend really liked them, too."

Josh: 'Sigh' (quite loudly I might add)

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: ...

Sad depressing one: "Yep, she thought they were delicious."

Josh: Rubs temples and ponders saying "I'm glad she "enjoyed" them. Hopefully the burger had cooled off a bit when you put the burger up to her preformed mouth and let her "take a bite", because if not, the heat might have melted her face and popped her and that would really have put a crimp in your evening." Instead, Josh walks away.

[End scene] That was acting. Thank you!