A list of my favorite things

1.) A really good work out this morning. Seriously, ya'll... one hour and forty minutes spent in that thar gym. Is that a bit excessive? Does that make me some kind of gym rat?

2.) My new theme for this life which is "Busy Being Fabulous." I can't wait to use this in polite conversation. For example:

"When would you like to go to dinner in February?"

"Hmmm... lets see. Gee... February is tight. I wish I could go to dinner but I am too busy being fabulous."



3.) Being incredibly funny. Lets just admit it, I am really funny.

4.) Friends who tell me they love me. It warms my heart. What the hell? Who just typed that?

5.) Powder blue sweaters that make me look fantastic.

My list of conclusions after I judged him

1.) A little bit on the skinny side

2.) Kind of funky teeth

3.) Seemed super nice in the five minutes I was talking to him. Also, he seemed surprisingly 'O.k.' and almost excepted that fact that I was going to judge him.

4.) Wore his pajamas to meet your friends. This is always a 'no No NO'.

5.) Anybody, I don't care who it is, that will drive their ass to meet you in their pajamas is obviously into you. I say, go for it... but be safe!!!!

xoxo

My list of things that annoy me to a great extent

1.) Inconsiderate Utah drivers who park like A$$holes just because there is some snow on the ground. If you can see one of the lines for the parking spot, even thought the other one may be covered in snow, you have enough @$#^%#*$#@^#@^ information to park within the parking spot. STOP taking two spots just because the other line is covered. YOU are RUDE, A JERK, INCONSIDERATE and an A$$HOLE. You are no more important then your co-workers, co-students, or co-mall shopper, or whom ever that is around you that you have inconvenienced because of your inability to think of someone other then yourself. You know who you are. STOP IT!!!!!***

2.) Getting to the gym late and not being able to complete my work out. I guess this isn't that bad, cause I'll just go back this afternoon... but I'm bugged about it now.

3.) Being out of protein. Now I have to go buy more... and going to the GNC store sometimes creeps me out.

***I realize the hypocracy of me criticizing another for thinking only of themself... but in this case I think its justified. Deal wit' it.

My list of things I am thankful for

1.) Predictable Utah drivers. I'm serious, ya'll. If there is even the slightest bit of water on the road, safe, conservative and SLOW driving become the name of the game. But, you sprinkle a little snow, slush or ice out on them thar roads and "$#%@^ It. I can drive through that at mock 20" becomes the name of the game. For some reason, Utah drives are paralyzed with fear when it comes to hydroplaning, but, we could care less about sliding on ice and snow. Now, I don't claim to know the logistics of hydroplaning, but I know that I have never done it. Contrast that with EVERY snow storm in which I have slid, leads me to believe that sliding in snow is a lot more or a real posibility.

2.) Friends who don't pry, even though they really, really REALLY want to. Maybe one day we'll talk about what happened... more then likely, we wont.

3.) Shopping with Marc and Rob.


4.) Shopping with Marc and Rob and being the skinny one, especially when I know that Marc and Rob want to If you seek Amy.

5.) Marc and Rob! Love love LOVE both of ya'll. Thanks!!!

My list of things that annoy me.

1.) Atomic Wedgies and other atomic things!

2.) Finding a milk chug in my fridge at work and being all excited (I know, excited about finding milk, I get the lameness), but then seeing that the date on said milk was 12/19/2008. EWWWWWW.

3.) Asking for one shot of vanilla in my coffee, but seeing the coffee man clearly put four shots in. Nope, thats not what I asked for. Ugggg... now I'm going to have to count those calories.

4.) Sore back, arms, and chest. I guess this shouldn't annoy me, as the soreness is proof I am doing something right... but uggggg... moving is a pain...or rather, is painful.

5.) The conclusion of, what was, a really great comic book. Well, I guess there is one more comic to go and we shall see how they wrap the whole thing up... but so far... the big reveal... was a big let down!!!

On the plus side, the cover of this comic sho' done be pretty, dontcha think?

My list of telephone rules.

These are the rules that I play by when it comes to the phone, ya'll. I don't care if you play by them, but this is what to expect from me. Oh... and yes, I do care if you play by them... in fact, when dealing with me on the phone start playing by these rules.

1.) If I have called you and you have not answered and I do NOT leave a message, I am not expecting, nor do I want you to call me back. Seriously, if I wanted to talk to you, I would have told you to CALL ME. If I don't say CALL ME, I was just calling to chat, its not important and DONT CALL ME BACK. Seriously, don't you have anything better to do then look at your caller ID and return calls. STOP IT.

2.) If I have called you and you have not answered and I have left a message, but in the message I did NOT say "Call Me", then I have said what I've needed to say and I do not expect a call back. If you call back, its not going to piss me off, like breaking rule #1 will, but just know I've said all I need to say, in the message.

3.) If I have called you and you have not answered and I have left a message saying "Call Me", I will also have left some kind of call to action in the message. I expect said call to action to be completed before you call me back. Included in this, is that I expect you to listen to my message before you call me back. Calling me back and saying "I saw that you called but I haven't listened to your message." is just as bad as breaking rule #1. STOP IT.

4.) If you have called me and I have not answered and you do NOT leave a message asking for me to call you back, I will NOT call you back. Do not expect me to look at my caller ID and return calls. I DONT... so don't expect it.

5.) If you have called me and I have not answered and you leave a message that only says "Call Me" without some form of call to action, I will assume you just want to chat. If I assume you just want to chat, I will call you back when I feel like it. If you need/expect me to call you back sooner then when I want to, then the burden of proof is on you to explain to me why I need to call you back.

My list of favorite things for today

1.) Me.... I love me. Yes, I top the list today as one of my favorite things... but I've also realized that my incredible vanity is a rather expensive habit.

2.) The Fame by Lady GaGa. Hate her name... but its a pretty good little album. I really enjoyed working out to it.

3.) Coffee... especially on days like today.

4.) Velma. You know, that nerdy know it all be-otch from Scoooby-Do. Those of you who are in the know, know why Velma made the list today.

5.) Jay Turner for teaching me how to solve a Rubics Cube. I was listening to NPR this weekend and they did a story on how a dutch man spent 26 years working on and finally solving a Rubics cube. Then, they had a "Rubics Cuber" talk about how most people can learn a Rubics cube in about a week if they have a good teacher. Well, that teacher was you, Jay. You should feel so proud.

My list of favorite things for today

1.) Festival of Crab at Market Street Broiler. I love me some crab... and I really love me some Festival of Crab at Market Street.

2.) My 'Hotness' level today, which in all honesty, is 'Off the chain". I say this with total humility, and honesty... the truth hurts, bitches. For reals, ya'll, I done look good today. p.s. I'll let you know if/when my hotness level changes.

3.) The stories Big Boy and City of Angels by David Sedaris in his book Me talk pretty one day. Kiddles... if you aint reading David Sedaris you should start. He is Hi-lar-rious! And Delia, you are right, I think Mr. Sedaris and I, are very similiar in word and deed. Let me just give you an example of David Sedaris' writing and you just tell me it doesn't sound like something I would say:

"That's one of Alicia's most well-worn adjectives, sweet, and she uses it to describe just about everyone. Were you to kick her in the stomach, the most you could expect would be a demotion to "semisweet." I've never known anyone so willing to withhold judgement and overlook what often strike me as major personality defects. Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character."
David Sedaris Me talk pretty one day.

See... I told you!

4.) Jason Cameron. WHOA! He has been added to the Daniel Craig and David Beckham list.




5.) The fact that those of you who responded, which was most of my readers, said loud and clear to keep emailing the list. Thanks! Warm fuzzies for me!!!

My list of ponderings for today, January 14, 2009

1.) Does giving somebody the nickname 'Hotness' imply that I think they are hot?

2.) When will my favorite T.V. show 'Weeds' start up again? Seriously, ya'll, I'm missing me some Nancy Botwin.

3.) Does anybody ever read my blog? Most of the emailed list readers probably don't, as all I post there is the list for the day here on the blog. But I wonder if anybody else reads the blog.

4.) If I have an 'A' list of list readers, and a 'B' list of list readers, are the people who read the blog (if any) on a different list?

5.) Should I stop sending the list out, and just post it on the blog and for those of you that are interested you can read it here?

Things that are starting my day off right.

1.) Seeing a speciman of lovely changing in front of me at the gym this morning. He was big, he was round, he was gorgeous, he wasn't me (weird, talking about how great somebody else is on my blog??), he was lovely. Seriously, ya'll... I can't describe how pretty he was. He had the nice rounded, almost puffy muscle with out being all hard packed and chisled. Nice flat tummy, nice pits... the whole package.

2.) Being able to sleep in until 6:00. I've forgotten the simple joys that come with sleeping in. How fantastic is it to sleep in a bit.

3.) My BFF at work, Mike, who was super nice to listen to me talk about item #1 on the list... even though he might have been uncomfortable. But it was still cool of him. Thanks Mike!!! I had to tell somebody.

4.) 'Merican Idol starting tonight. Now, hear me out folks. I don't necessarily enjoy the show in and of itself... but I watch it with my sister, Robyn. And we have fun. Granted, it is a Gi-norm-o pain in my ass to go to Rich and Sharon's every Tuesday and Wednesday... but haning out with Robyn makes it worth it.
5.) Item number one. I'm not kidding, ya'll... it was lovely!!!

My list of favorite places in San Francisco

1.) The San Francisco Municipal Pier.

2.) The San Francisco Kenneth Cole Store. I have fond shopping memories of this place... one of them being this store is where I bought my 'wedding dress.'

3.) North Beach. If ya'll ever get to San Francisco, North Beach is a great place to hang out. The Stinking Rose, Beach Blanket Babylon, Washington Square and some great shopping are all in North Beach. Skip Pier 49 and walk a little bit inland to North Beach. You'll be glad you did.


4.) The Castro. If you want a great place to shop and eat, catch the 'F' line and head on down to the Castro.


5. The Cliff House. If you want something a bit outside of the crazyness of the city, but a really good meal while you are at it... head northwest to the other side of the peninsula and find The Cliff House. Really great place to eat, with a killer view of the Pacific.

If you can't tell... I'm missing my city.

My list of ewwww-th things that happened at the gym/studio.

1.) Smelling the worst B.O. that I have ever smelled (up to that point) ever in my life, in the locker room yesterday. I get it. Its a gym and you will get sweaty. I am well aware. But, if I am a'workin' out and I even get a hint, the merest whisper of an odor, it may not even be mine... you can bet you ass I am down in the locker rooms slathering on s'more Old Spice. Apparently, the individual in the locker next to me didn't care that he smelled that bad. But, it wasn't just B.O. mix with it, the worst sweaty food stank and that is what I had to deal with yesterday morning. And he left his sweaty, stanky clothes right on the floor of the locker room, right next to me. Seriously, you rented a locker for a reason sir. Use it to put your @#$^$@&%$#&% clothes in.

2.) Smelling B.O. worst then what I smelled in the morning, yesterday evening at my second work out. Yep, thats right. I done smelled something worse ya'll. Except this time the perpetrator was Pakistani. So, starting right there, let us all stipulate that when dealing with a Pakistani we know there is going to be some kind of odor. I know I am being racist, but I am sure that to the Pakistani, the Americans have some kind of odor. Now, take said Pakistani odor and mix it with the very worst (yes, worse then what I smelled in the morning). Do you see where I am going here. Then, dump in a lot of sweaty foot stank and there you have what I had to attempt to breath through while changing my clothes. Are you kidding? Plus this guy, was completely hairy, back, arms, stomach, saggy man tits, everything. The odd thing was, he shaved it... so there was this weird, black stubble covering his whole body. This fellow also left his funked out clothes and shoes and socks on the ground (not in the locker) for all to smell. REALLY. Ya'll need to put your clothes in the locker and take your sweaty bodies over to that shower.

3.) A martial arts session being taught to a mother and son. Now, you may not be thinking this is odd... but stick with me. Allow me to illustrate through a narration of a scene I witnessed this morning:

Trainer:

"Mom, lay on the ground. On your back."

"Son, pin your mom to the ground by sitting on her chest pin her shoulders to the ground with your knees."


Hmmm... thinks Josh... this seems a bit on the weird... and then this happened.


Trainer:

"Mom, break out of this pin by sliding your arm between your son's legs, so your elbow is tucked around his crotch and...." I stopped listening at this point because i was horrified.

The scary thing is... after Mom broke out of the pin... it was the sons turn to be pinned to the ground... by his mom.

1000% Ewwww-eth!

My list of good things

1.) Paying off the rest of my cruise. Now I just have to save money to spend whilst in a drunken stupor walking around the Eastern Caribbean.

2.) Finishing Pillars of the Earth. Don't get me wrong... it was a good book... but for some reason it just kind of bugged me. I would recommend it to anyone... but I don't know if I liked it that much. P.S. For my MACU readers, Marmee must never find out how I felt about that book.

3.) Having the Invisalign buttons drilled off. Thats right, I be done with my Invisalign treatments ya'll. Now, on to teeth bleaching.

4.) My new Jessica pin which sums me up so well. It says "Full Bodied, All natural, premium choice." Thanks Jen!

5.) Swollen pecs. It was pec day this morning at the gym and they done swoll' up nicely after that work out. Too bad they don't stay that way.

M.y list of favorite things

1.) Buffy day at the comic book store. LOVE this day!!!

2.) Back and bicept day at the gym. Gotta get the girls lookin' nice and big for measurement day on Friday. EEEEKKKK.... Ima kind of scared.

3.) Jillian. I just love me some Jillian. Seriously, if you aren't watching America's Fattest People... you should really start. You will be motivated by Jillian!!!

4.) Holding Dr. Carlisle Cullen hostage. Not nearly as fun as holding sorceror Mickey hostage... but still fun

My list of things I hate I hate today, January 6th, 2009

1.) Training without a full cup of coffee in me.

2.) Seeing a rather obese man "taking care of business" in the Suana at the gym today.

3. Bad snowy roads.

4.) Sending the list out late.

My favorite things for today

1.) Having my house back. I done cleaned up Christmas and it is soooooo nice to have a front room again.

2.) Cutting off the branches of the Christmas tree and burning them in the fire. This has to be my favorite Christmas tradition.

3.) Super cute vests... like the one I am wearing today.

4.) Hot coffee.

My list of things I want in 2009

1.) To have size small T-shirts fit me like my size extra small T-shirts fit me right now. This would mean getting bigger folks... and I don't want none o' you telling me I look fine now. Nope... Joshie wants to be big. "I am big. Its the [clothes] that got smaller". A prize for whomever can tell me where that edited quote came from.


2.) To lose the rest of my belly. I want to tone up the belly a bit. Flatten it and get some definition down there. Working toward that. Damn you crunches... Damn you!

3.) To firgure out wheter I like or hate my current job and make the appropriate changes. This one is gonna be hard as the pay and benefits are quite nice. Number two, I sometimes get paid buckets of cash to sit around. I am working on changing that.

4.) To fill out a dress shirt. I guess y'all know this is an ongoing goal... but it is something I want in 2009. Soooo... deal with the repeated goal... bitches.

5.) Monthly (atleast) dinners with Delia. Maybe we alternate, somewheres cheap one month and somewheres spendy the next month. Maybe, even, we go somewhere and I order something strange off the menu and then refuse to eat it and make Delia eat it... Hoki Gai and one???

6.) A trip to Disneyland. This one might be kind of hard seeing as how the big trip this year is the cruise. But, a quick Disney trip might be in order.

7.) A trip to San Francisco. I am really thinking this one is out of the question seeing as how the cruise is the big trip. And I really feel bad that I wont go see my favorite city in all the world this year. Think about it, Jen, Imagine if you had to go a whole year with out stepping foot in DisneyLand. Terrible. F. I'm dealing with it though.

8.) To see her get fired.

9.) To hang out with Katie and Kristine more often.

10.) To wear a swimsuit like this and look like this in it on the cruise ship.