My list of wonderful things

1.) The worst training in recorded history is over. Thank god!

2.) Tomorrow is May. Hoo-ray... I like May. Warm, good weather, plus I look good in a tank top which will feel nice to wear outside in May.

3.) Express Tank Tops.

4.) Koi soi curry soup.

5.) Arms that feel ouchy. I know i did something right.

My list of things I have discovered after nearly a year and a half of lifting weights.

1.) I cannot take off my clothes the way I did when I was softer/a wee bit heavier. Seriously, ya'll... it just doesn't work. I've had to change how I take off my clothes. Its hard to explain, but easier to demonstrate.

2.) The new way I take off my clothes is a helluva a lot more sexier then the old way I took of my clothes. Seriously, its nice to watch.

3.) Taking off my clothes is nice, having somebody watch me take off my clothes is better.

4.) Staring at myself in the mirror is fun.

5.)

My list of things I am going to miss

1.) Watching Supernatural every Sunday. For reason's that are to long to list here, I started watching one, and only one episode of Supernatural each Sunday. Starting with season one through season three, the last currently released season. Well, I finished season three yesterday and season four has not been released yet. In fact, I don't even think season four is over yet. And I am going to miss watching those boys every Sunday. I guess, this waiting for the next DVD release will be like the summer between the season finale and the season premiere. UGGGGG!!!!

2.) Fer real, ya'll. I can't see this every week now???

3.) Or this. Ugggg. More then likely I am going to have a come apart because of this.

My list of things that don't start a morning off right.

1.) Being in South Jordan and not being able to find a Starbucks. Really, there is nary a Starbucks in sight.

2.) Settling for some other store coffee and spilling it on myself. But not just spilling it... spilling it on myself in style... one, two, three times. Yes, spilling coffee three times on myself.

3.) Having to use the bathroom at Kneaders, and then feeling obligated to order more because of what just happened in the bathroom. I'll not continue this story.

4.) Dropping my laptop on the ground and now it doesn't work right.

My list of things of which you should be made aware

1.) For those of you that choose to run outside, you should be aware that when you run in place at a crosswalk while waiting for the light to change, you look like a @#%#^$ idiot. Seriously, you look like an ass. How about, you take a break cause sitting there, bouncing around in your half-assed way just makes you look dumb.

2.) If you are overweight and are trying to sell me on going to your gym, you should be aware that telling me you love golds gym and that you have been going to it for 20 years, is not going to make me sign up. In fact, its gonna make me think, WTF???? 20 years and you still look like that? Good job, buddy. Nice wasting of your time and money.

3.) You should be aware that massages from a big handed, big forearmed and big bicep body builder are seriously the best thing. You should be further aware that the massage is even better when you convince the masseuse to massage you with his shirt off. Even though your eyes are clothes, the shirt off was nice.

4.)


5.)

My list of good and bad things.


1.) The Devil Wears Prada movie. I love this whole movie except for Anne Hathaway. Stanley Tucci is fantastic.. Meryl is beyond fabulous... that other rude assistant is great... but Anne ruins it for me. The Deveil wears Prada = good. Anne = Bad.

2.) I'm really really stiff today. All of me hurts. ALL of me. Work outs = good. Being stiff = Bad.

3.) I'm getting a massage this afternoon. Super excited about this... but I kind of have a crush on the massage therapist. Getting a massage = good. Having a "reaction" to said massage = bad.

4.) I've decided to go buy myself a new outfit which I will debut when I take Sharon to Mother's Day brunch. I'm thinking I might go with some thing nice and springy... maybe a pink shirt. Shopping = good. Having to pay for the clothes = bad.

My list of things that annoy me.

1.) Threats to remove me from your phone. Really? Threatening me with this. I am obviously ignoring you... so threatening me with removal from your phone just seems silly.

2.) Pointless, pointless, POINTLESS Monday boring meetings. UGGGGGGGGGGG!

3.) Some skinny little meth addict size zero bitch walking around the bar with his shirt off saying "I'm a client of Steve's." Actually, the kid was annoying... but then it turned kinda fun when I said I'm a client of Steve's too. Then everybody started looking at me. I didn't take my shirt off (as I was not in a warehouse, nor on roller skates)... but it was still fun.



4.) Having a sandwich spilled on me, with no offer to comp the meal. Also, waiting for a really long time for my food. Also, waiting a REALLY long time on a coffee refill.

5.) Monday mornings. Seriously. Who invented these?

My list of great things.

1.) Going to dinner with Jenny last night. It was like old times ya'll. Sitting, chatting and being friends again. We talked T.V., Books, Anita, caught up, some MACU gossip... and guess what... the hag only came up once... and even then all that was said is that she should be fired. It was nice.

2.) Seeing other acquaintances at MACU. Its always nice to see people, especially when I am looking really good. Here's the rub though... every one of those "Others" said "Whoa, I didn't recognize you with that beard." Really? REALLY? This beard? This beard that is just around my jaw bone/chin? This one that doesn't obscure my face AT ALL. The beard is why you didn't recognize me. O.k. Idiots. Or maybe could it be the 3 inches around my shoulders, or the two inches around my chest, or hmmm I don't know, the 2 inches around my arms that weren't there last time you saw me. Maybe that is why I look different. Just a thought.

3.) Progress, progress, progress. love Love LOVE!!!!

4.) Sister Dottie S. Dixon. Look her up. Fantastic I tell you.

5.) Cooking class at the Melting Pot with D'Nell. This is going to be fun.

My list of favorite things that happened this weekend... starting with least favorite to most favorite.

1.) The tequila hangover. Ok. This is the only bad one... but it really was my least favorite thing that happened. Ugggg... Tequila hangovers are terrible.

2.) Coloring Easter eggs with my family. Don't know why, but after 30 years, this is still a favorite of mine.

3.) Egg hunt with my family. Same response as answer to number 2.

4.) Dinner with the Boettchers. Always fun to see them.

5.) Getting tanked with my girls. Love ya girls... I really do. Even though this was the weirdest evening EVER (A warehouse, roller skates, karaoke, me with my shirt off, what What WHAT???)... but I loved it.

6.) And an unprecedented number six (I know this never happens, but in this case it is worth it). My favorite thing that happened this weekend, even though it violated EVERY personal space issue I have... cuddling with Katie on couch. LOVED LOVED LOVED this. For those of you that don't know... Katie is the female version of me... so if you think about it... I was just cuddling with my self... But either way... I LOVED IT.

My list of things I want

1.) To look like this in a dress shirt.



2.) To know what his deal is? Man or Clam? Who's hungry? P.S. He wasn't there today... and I was all prepared.

3.) Some time to just sit and read. Whether it be a comic book, Kabuki is really good... or a regular book like the TommyKnockers... I just want to sit and read for all day.

My list of random things.

1.) I was to chicken to say 'Hi'. Really, I was to chicken to say anything. I am not so good at this.

2.) After a day of a series of bad news events, especially one bad news event from a dear friend of mine, I decided to drink wine. And, we all know what happens when Josh drinks wine at 6:00 p.m. First, he puts on Donna Summer and does the dishes. Then the phone calls begin. I apologize to all who received a call.

3.) I have no coffee creamer today. This poses a problem as I really need coffee, but I really don't like it without creamer.

My list of things I hate.

1.) Arm-chair psychology. I get it, I'm only a psych major... I don't have a masters or anything further then my BA in psychology... but it really gets under my skin when people who obviously know nothing about psychology dispense psychological advice. STOP IT.

2.)

3.)

4.) People who touch me. Thou shalt not touch me... EVER... unless you have been invited to do so. So, ugly people, when I am at the bar, visiting Steve, don't touch me... PERIOD. You are gross and you don't have a chance... go hit on all your other bar crawler caste members and just be happy that somebody from an upper caste then you has decided to grace you with his presence.

5.) Having dreams she got fired. I hate this because then I wake up and realize it was just a dream.

My list of commandments

1.) Thou shalt not take my name in vain. I do not claim to be God, but DO NOT speak for me, or say I agree or am doing something, when you have no idea if I am or not. Or if I agree or not. In fact, just don't speak on behalf of me PERIOD.

2.) Thou shalt covet my ass.

3.) Thou shalt not critique my eating... EVER.

4.) Thou shalt not whine, gnash teeth or bitch and moan when you are moved from my friends list, to being on my acquaintance list. I think most of you know that I decide when I want to be friends with you... but I also decide when I don't want to be friends with you any more. In fact, it brings me a small amount of joy to move people off my friends list and into my acquaintance list. By the by, being moved to the acquaintance list means you will most likely be deleted from my phone, i won't hang out with you on a personal level ever, but if i happen to see you out and about, I won't ignore you.

5.) Thou shalt not mock the caste system that I so firmly believe in.

My list of great things.

1.) What happened at the gym today. It was wonderful, it was beautiful... I hope it happens again.

2.) The fact that it is starting, finally, to look and feel like spring.

3.) Anything and everything with the name Kenneth Cole stamped on it.

4.) Single Ladies (Put a ring on it) by Beyonce. I don't know what it is, but I love this song. love Love LOVE it. This song just makes me happy. Do the dance for me, Marc. Do it!! Don't lie, you just did part of it. Don't lie... probably the start of it... the first couple hip bounces... you did it subtly... sitting at your desk... but you did it. Don't lie, Marc... you did it.

5.)

My list of things that annoy me and if you do them you must STOP IT.

1.) Critiquing my eating habits. None of you, and I mean NONE, should ever EVER critique how and/or what I eat...EVER. Don't do it. You are just gonna piss me off. And don't tell me if I keep eating this much, I'm going to get fat... cause really... I think I've proven you wrong. STOP IT.


2.) Telling me I look skinny. I don't want to be skinny. You can tell me I look fit. Better yet, tell me I look muscular... but for hell's sake, don't tell me I look skinny.

3.) If your name is Clarissa Lassig, answering the phone when I call... or speaking at me in general. STOP IT.