My list of things I am grateful for.

1.) The Book The Seventy Eight Degrees of Wisdom. I've learned A LOT and feel better for it.

2.) When Baxter is feeling like cuddling.

3.) His open mind. I have a relationship and coversations with him, that I've not had with any other male friend. I would say he is my best gay friend... but alas!

4.) I get to choose how close people get to me.

5.) I have a pretty good understanding of me. I know who I am and I like me.

6.) Beach Blanket Babylon.

7.) San Francisco. The thought of her brings me joy. Create your own reality, I say.

8.) For Mini Cooper #4.

9.) Muscle Milk. Because sometimes I'm just lazy and dont' want to whip up a protein shake.

10.) Express.

My list of things I don't buy

1.) Clothes with out trying them on first. I may think the pants are super on the sexy, but if they don't make me feel super sexy or look flattering when I put them on... I put them down.

2.) Excuses for coming late. None of them, I don't buy ANY of them. And don't insult my intelligence by saying some lame ass excuse about why you are late. I don't believe you, I think your excuse is lame, it DOESN'T make me feel better and it will ANNOY me even more. "My alarm didn't go off." Really? Thats funny, I've had the same alarm clock for over 10 years. Its gone off, every morning at the exact time I tell it to go off. Also, unlike humans, alarms clocks do not think about, nor decide, to do or not do something. The alarm clock doesn't get to decide if it wants to go off in the morning, and then randomly just decides to not go off every once in a while... just to keep you on your toes. Nope, alarm clocks go off at the exact moment you tell them to. Every time, with out fail. And if, by some chance, your alarm clock doesn't go off and you are late, why the hell are you still using that alarm clock. Get a better one. Seriously, I don't buy them, I don't want to hear them. I'd rather you just apologize for being late with a simple "I'm sorry I'm late." and then we can move on.

3.) Things from the Apple store... just because they are from the Apple store. I do not get the uproar over every new Apple product. Sure, I enjoy my Ipod... but I bought it over three years ago. I know that Ipods have been updated... but I dont' need the new one. I've no desire to own an Iphone and this new Ipad thing. What the hell? I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

4.) A ticket for any movie starring Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton or Denzel Washington. I cannot stand any movie with these individuals. I think the lot of them are hammy over actors.

My list of things I am doing to survive right now

1.) Nurturing my psychic side. I've been reading and quite enjoy a book on the Tarot... I've been doing readings... I've been communicating with my psychic friend. Now... I need all of you to schedule and appointment, dammit, and we'll be good.

2.) Focusing on my work outs. This always feels good.

3.) Repeating my mantra. I can only change me.

4.) Focusing on the future. Who cares about the past?

5.) Realizing that I'm an adult and I can CHOOSE to maintain or lose what ever I want.

My list of great things.

1.) He likes me. This is fantastic. I've been working and trying and hoping and finally, He likes me.

2.)
For she is me... and I am her.

3.)

Found this on another blog i read. How is this humanly possible? For reals?

My list of I am enjoying right now.

1.) Secret Diary of a Call Girl on Showtime. The show isn't for everybody... but I like it... A LOT. And it makes me laugh... A LOT... and I think one of the men in it is sexy... A LOT.

2.) Margaret Ruth Show podcasts. I am quite enjoying these. I feel even more psychic just listening to these. Now, dammit, I need you all to sign up for a Tarot reading.

3.) Coffee. Its been a three cup of coffee day. But, it done be good.

4.) The thought that a rejection just means that I am one application closer to the one that will take. I'm trying to enjoy this thought right now... trying!!!!

My list of things I'm going to do this weekend.

1.) Sushi dinner with D'Nell. I guess the tradition has started back up again.

2.) Watch Spartacus


I mean Hello!


3.) See Avatar. I guess I really should see what all the fuss is about.

4.) Figure some... not all... but some more out.

My list of things that turn my knee to butter... if done correctly.

1.) Arm pits. Arm pits arm pits arm pits... If done correctly watch the hell out, girls. I don't know if it is because they are manly or what but an arm pit with the "right" look and the right amount of arm pit hair... girl, i'm finished. Prime example, Sherlock Holmes being handcuffed to the bed. Those be some damn sexy arm pits. Or...


Kind of hard to see... but for reals, Chick-a-Dees... for REALS. And this poster in the movie theater makes me have real bad thoughts. Can't wait to see the movie as I am sure it is going to a sexy pit fest.

2.) When a person (that I already find at least cute) stretches or moves in such a way that their shirt pulls up and you get to see a little bit of skin. For example

Normally, their belly. It is almost like its forbidden and I've just caught a glimpse. Nelly, I done like that. Seems kind of voyeuristic to me... but I don't care. I enjoy.

3.) Guys that are dressed up nice, shirt and tie at least) driving motor cycles. They already have to have somewhat of a cuteness factor, which is almost a snap judgement because I see these men while they are driving... and so am I. But, if it looks like they have a bit of a body underneath those close... or a face... girls... I might just follow.

4.) Being nice to me. Men become instantly more attractive when they are nice to me... sort of. There is a limit... actually, being nice to me will put you on my radar... and then that begins the rumblings and stirring.


5.) Two words... Short and Stocky. Lest you all think I only go for hunky, built, tall pretty boys with square chins... for example



who I noticed on The Biggest Loser last night (Hello, Curtis Stone... how are you today?). But what will catch my eye is short and stocky... don't know what it is but I do like the short and stocky.

My list about the list from Friday.

1.) I did go see Sherlock Holmes. Two things on this really...



Could he possibly have been any sexier in this movie. I agree Mr. Holmes... the key to my release is also under that pillow. Second, I have no idea if this movie was good or not. I was a bit preoccupied when I saw it.

2.) I did finish The Tommyknockers and I enjoyed it. And leave it to Mr. King to put a happy ending in there. Its a good thing I finished this on Saturday so that I could enjoy it.

3.) The dinner that need not be mentioned. The dinner, the aftermath and the appointment.

4.) No back work out. Wasn't feeling well that morning. Hovering in that horrible place between actually being sick and being well. Not really knowing which I am.

5.) Got the new shoes... and some other super nice gear to boot. To bad I take no joy in it at this juncture.

*This week's song NON-Dedication is Broken (Radio Edit) by LifeHouse.

My list of things I want to do this weekend

1.) Go see Sherlock Holmes and/or Avatar. I've heard both of these are good movies... and I've not seen either one. This weekend is the weekend to see at least one of them. I hope. I may decide my lazy ass just wants to stay home.

2.) Finish The Tommyknockers. I've done enjoyed this vintage Stephen King novel. Its taken a while to get through it... but it was good. It was also very Very VERY out there. Aliens and crazy inventions and that poor dog... all kinds o' the crazyness happening here.

3.) Celebrate my brother's birthday with the family. Its always fun getting together with my family... even though Rich will be there.

4.) Have a rock-em sock-em arm and back work out this weekend. I'm finally back to looking forward to my workouts. This is nice. Nice to enjoy the punishment again.

5.) Finally.. Finally get rid of those damn shoes. Uggggg... the shoes... the bane of the shoes.

My list of random things about me.

1.) I've, just recently, gotten over my dislike of onions. I will eat onions. Tis amazing... but true.

2.) I still think carmelized onions are an abomonation. I will not eat these.

3.) Track number 11 on my new Glee CD is my theme song right now. If you imagine that she is singing about finding a new job and not about finding love... its totally my song. "Maybe next time I'll win."

4.) I still have good days and bad days. The good days are good... and the bad days suck.... but the bad days are fewer and farther between.

5.) When I arrive at a destination, for work, that I've had to fly to, the first think I do when I get to the hotel room is take a hot hot HOT bath. I don't know why, but I love it. I guess this is true for the times I have vacationed by myself. The first order of business is a hot bath.

My list of things I need to do today

1.) Set up a dinner date with D'Nell. Any time in the next two weeks works for me.

2.) Go watch Idol with my sister. I like spending time with my sister. Idol bugs the crap out of me. Really. REALLY! I think since Carrie Underwood I've not cared a damn about who wins. I just plain don't care about the music that America finds popular. I just don't. But, spending time with the sis is nice.

3.) Get motivated. I'm just not. Not at all. Motivated to do work. I have a lot to do and I am just not motivated right now to do any of it. ANY of it. It might be do to the fact that I've given up hope and that kind of makes the outlook bleak... or it could be do to the fact that I'm just going through a lazy spell.

4.) Stop measuring everybody else's success against my own.

My list of my favorite things

1.) Dinner with Michael and Danielle. Im not gonna lie about it... I was a little bit worried that this would turn out to be a complete train wreck. A night full of awkward conversation... long silences and then empty promises to do it again soon some time. Boy-o-boy was I wrong. I had so much fun. SOOOOOOOOOOO much fun. I love them both so much.

2.) My new Glee CD. Sure, its chock full of stolen music... but I love it. Love it. LOVE IT.

3.)

This girl can sing a damn song. I'm not gonna lie. I mean really... she has one hell of an instrument. I am in awe. Rachel on the show bugs me... but I think she is supposed to. But say what you want... this girl can sing, Chick-a-dees.

4.) My surprisingly positive out look for this week. This is going to be a good week... I can feel it. I'll let you know Friday what comes up.

*This week's song NON-dedication is track #1 on the new GLEE cd.

Stunning... Absolutely Stunning!

My list of things I am trying to do today.

1.) I am trying not to send out a depressing list. Sadly, I think I am going to fail on this front.

2.) I am trying not to give up. I don't know, specifically, what I'm trying not to give up on. Life maybe. Im not suicidal, but I just don't wanna play any more. Maybe its me that I'm trying not to give up on.

3.) I am trying to think of other things that I might be good at. Yes, this is things I might be good at doing for a living... not necessarily that I would enjoy doing for a living... just other things.

4.) I am trying to stay positive and buck up. It will get better. I have to believe that... but now-ish, it sucks.

5.) I am trying to decide which is worse... now... or when Marmee was my boss. It feels like now is worse... but I really hated Marmee.

My list of things that must be explained

1.) I do want to sleep with Mike... or maybe just date him for a while.

2.) I'm not getting a divorce. Even if I could, I wouldn't. I'm more in love with him now then ever.

3.) I have body image issues. I don't expect you to understand... but I do expect you to deal with it.

4.) I have space issues. I don't expect you to understand... but I do expect you to deal with it

My list of my demands

1.) 2010 needs to not be so hectic. Listen here, 2010, I normally go out of my way to hide from drama... but you are throwing it at me. I don't like it. I don't like being overwhelmed at work. I don't like it. So, if you continue to throw it at me.. I demand that you fix it down the line. I know you can see those opportunities out there, 2010, I demand that you make sure one of them happens.

2.) I demand to look like an underwear model. Is this to much to ask? Acutally, I really wanna look like Bob Harper

or


I mean number one... he is dreamy... but number two I want to look that way... who wouldn't.. I feel oh so close... but oh so far away... damn you Esther!!!

3.) I demand to be left alone when I wanna be left alone. REALLY! Go away and don't touch mean go away and don't touch. I don't care that you are a toucher and I know in some twisted way you may think that when I say don't touch I really mean do touch... but hands off. The divorce paperwork has been submitted!!!

4.) Cup of coffee every morning. Thats it... nothing simple... just a cup of coffee.

5.) To be adored. Thats really all this boils down to... adore me... when I want you to... but leave me the #@$^&#%$ alone when I want you to.