My list of GREAT things.

1.) The two beautiful and HOT jackets I purchased this weekend. They are glorious!
2.) Spending Saturday with my sibs. They are actually pretty fun to hang out with... Raging Waters and The Pie for dinner mixed in with my sibs... who could ask for anything else.
3.) My Friday night out with my wife, beard or hag. She'll answer to any of those terms of endearment... or you can just call her Katie... or Cats. Anywho, Dinner, which turned into drinks at my favorite martini bar, which then turned into slutty dancing at Club Jam... all in all a GREAT night.

4.) Going to by coffee and hearing "Don't leave me this way" by Thelma Houston over the loud speakers. I had to pretend to shop around Whole Foods for food... while really I was just jamming out to the music... and maybe dancing in the aisles.

5.) A semi-nude scene on BSG with my favorite Jamie Bamber. I probably watched the scene 5 time. It was fantastic.

My list of things I don't understand.

1.) Taylor Swift, and the fascination with her. Near as I can tell, she mumbles, in a very monotone voice, through every song she sings... correction speaks her way through. Seriously, people, can you hear her? She is not good... more specifically she is terrible.




2.) People who hang, or display, religious pictures or items at work. Remember, this girl is all about religious freedoms and all... but keep it at home. The office is not the place to display a picture of Jesus or have your holy religious books setting out.

3.) People who don't like the banana Runts. I love these and I always save them and eat them last.




4.) Why they can't release season four of Supernatural today. Seriously, I can't wait another week to find out whats up with Sam and Dean.


5.) Why does he choose to bathe in his cologne, instead of just spraying a few puffs on himself. Seriously dude... its overpowering.

My list of monkeys that I have to feed

1.) Shopping for underwear. For example, see the sample below. Mr. Andrew Christian, you cannot send me a picture of this underwear and expect me not to buy it.




2.) Shopping for clothes. I went for so long only getting new clothes once a year (for chirstmas. Thank you, Sharon.) And, I always promised myself that when I got a job that paid well, I would update my wardrobe more often. But now, I can't stop, because I love Love LOVE new clothes and I love Love LOVE buying them.

3.) Coffee. What can I say? I love it.

4.) Working out. I love looking good... mostly because I love looking good in things like the underwear pictured above.

5.) Myself. Lets just face it, I am addicted to myself. And why... well because I love me!!!

Today my mood is defeated.

My list of mottos.

1.) I can only change me.

2.) Today brings me one day closer.

3.) What can I control? What can I influence? What can I leave behind?

4.) Its fun to be thin.

5.) Nobody trusts a moron.

My list of things that made today great!

1.) My second full day spent with one of my best friends, Jen. Talking about The Sims, Books, Movies and clarissa... for just a second part of me believed it was like old times again. I miss working with you, Jen... I really do. I didn't say it then, but when I told you the conference was making me sad, I was sad because of how much I miss working with you. I think the mixing of my bubbles proves at least one thing... you are in my heart... and my life is better for it.

My list of things that totally ruined my Tuesday.
1.) Attending a conference that was a complete waste of time and had no bearing on my job.

2.) Attending a conference that reminds me of what I should be doing.

3.) Hearing other people talk about how great they are. I am instantly bored if we are talking about how great anybody else but me is.

4.) Telling my boss, "we need to talk." The talk will be good - but I am nervous now.
5.) Having to pretend to give a shit when new people talk to me. Lets just not be freinds, Ok?

My list of things that you should stop doing.

1.) If you happen to have a vending machine take a dollar, or so, of yours and not give you candy after words STOP putting on those ridiculous "This machine owes me 75 cents." signs. Really? REALLY? Its a dollar, at max. I can see it if you lost a $50 dollar bill... but a dollar.. suck it up and move on!!!!!

2.) Never never never ever ever EVER ask your training class instructor for a break because you "need to go pump". This is called an over-share and is information your trainer does not need. You wouldn't say "Can we take a break because I'm going to have explosive diarrhea" so why announce that you need to go pump.

3.) When somebody orders a bowl of soup from you... you should probably never EVER serve it to them in a large coffee cup. This is generally considered rude and really irritating.

4.) If you are turning in a resume to be seriously considered READ the damn thing and make sure there are no frackin' typos in it.

My list of personal quirks that have become a giant pain in my ass.

1.) My complete lack of patience. I'm not kidding kids. Patience is a virtue that the good lord... or lords... or whom ever saw fit to bless me with. I have none.... and really... its really becoming more of a hindrance. If only everybody else would think like me... then my lack of patience wouldn't be such a big deal.

2.) Being a Cancer. Cancer the crab... a water sign... which means I am deeply emotional... although you would never know it. The flip side is I hide from everything that I find dangerous or poses a threat. In my case, those items are usually professional. I should do things, but I don't because I don't want to rock the boat. I'd prefer to hide under my desk and let it blow over. Generally, this means I wait for things to get better.

3.) Being a Cancer on the cusp with Leo. Cancer the crab mixed with Leo the line = the king who cries... A LOT. I am affriad of the spot light... but secretly I want everybody to LOVE me... or at least notice me. If they don't, I'll get freaked out and begin questioning why.

4.) My boat load of body image issues. Seriously, ya'll... think about little cancer the crab who just wants to be loved mixed with Leo the lion who demands to be adored. I just wanna feel pretty and have you like me. And also think I am super hot. I think of all of them, this personal quirk limits me the most.

5.) Spending time looking backwards. I find myself looking backwards at what might have been... A LOT. Keeps one focused on the past. Not fun.

My list of things I am tired of doing

1.) I am tired of lying to myself by telling myself that this will get better. Its been a year, and it feels as though it has gotten progressively worse.

2.) I am tired of pretending, to myself and others, that this is was anything other then a big mistake. I place no blame for my decision on anybody else but me. One of you will read this and feel bad... Please don't. You were trying to help and I appreciate that. The decision was mine, and I take full responsibility for it.

3.) I am tired of trying to convince myself that she actually cares and is trying to make this better for me. She has had opportunities... she hasn't taken them.

4.) I am tired for feeling that, for the past 368 days, I have been completely and totally stalled, with no forward progression. If you wanna know for sure... I actually feel like I've gone backwards.

5.) I am tired of hoping for something that will never come.

My list of things I was reminded of today

1.) Being friends with my boss was a great thing.

2.) I still find the miracle of child birth amazing. I didn't say beautiful... I still think its ugly... but the process of making a child and what the body does is amazing.
3.) That was a good place to work.

4.) Trying to remember to not throw your retainers away is hard.

5.) It feels great to have a boss that is actually invested in my personal and professional growth.

My list of things I want to say:

1.) "You lied to me, and you know you did... and you should feel sorry about it."

2.) "I know I pretend to care, but really, I don't, at all. In fact, I couldn't possibly care any less.

3.) "I"m done, I'm gone, I'm out."

4.) "Its finally over. I will never have to do that again."

5.) "Lets just not be friends anymore."

My list of things I hate about business travel

1.) Being alone. I know, I get it... in most cases I enjoy my own company more than yours... but traveling by ones self = suck.

2.) I can never sleep well on the first night of the trip. This means that the first day of training = suck. Get me to the coffee.

3.) Not having any idea, AT ALL, where I really am. I have no clue. I am in Madison Wisconsin, where ever the hell that is... but other then that, I feel lost. Hmmm... sounds remarkably familiar to my life right now.

4.) No rental car and nothing to do around the hotel. Even if I wanted to go do something, there is nothing to do.

5.) Feeling guilty about being. Not so much fun to come to training when you totally feel guilty about it. Opps.